Stop “Selling Yourself.” Start Framing Your Fit.
If the idea of self-promotion makes you cringe, it’s time to change the script entirely.
The moment we frame it as “selling ourselves,” we’ve already made it harder.
Selling implies convincing. Performing.
It puts the pressure on you to prove something, instead of focusing on what the role actually requires, and how you’re a fit for it.
And that’s why so many smart, experienced women struggle to speak confidently about their value.
Because deep down, they don’t want to perform. They want to be useful.
They don’t want to sell. They want to connect.
They want to contribute.
They want to solve problems and do meaningful work.
That’s not a confidence problem.
It’s a framing problem.
Here’s what I tell my clients:
You’re not selling yourself. You’re helping someone make a smart decision.
If a hiring manager has a gap to fill, they’re looking for a partner, not a pitch.
They want clarity.
They want to feel reassured that the person they bring in will understand the challenge, take ownership of the role, and move the work forward.
That’s where you come in. Not as a product. Not as a pitch. But as someone who knows how to create impact, and is ready to do it again.
Try this shift in your language:
Instead of:
❌ “I haven’t done that exact thing before…”
Say:
✅ “One of the things I’m most excited about in this role is the opportunity to grow in [X] — I’ve already done [related experience], and I’m eager to build on it.”
Instead of:
❌ “I’m not great at selling myself…”
Say:
✅ “Here’s where I’ve made an impact. Here’s what I’ve led. Here’s how it connects to what you need.”
Instead of:
❌ “I’m afraid of overstating my experience…”
Say:
✅ “I’ve led [X], delivered [Y], and collaborated across [Z] — and I know I can bring that same energy here.”
This isn’t about ego. It’s about clarity.
You’re not trying to be louder than someone else.
You’re not trying to win someone over.
You’re showing them what you bring, calmly and confidently.
Because they need someone who can deliver.
And if that someone is you, your job is to make it easy for them to see it.
That’s not selling.
That’s service.
If you’ve ever said, “I hate talking about myself”...
Try reframing it.
You’re not talking about yourself.
You’re talking about the value you bring to the people, teams, and organizations you’ve worked with.
You’re not “selling” your worth.
You’re just not hiding it.
CTA:
If you’ve ever held back because you hate the idea of self-promotion, I’d love to hear from you. What’s felt hard? And what’s helped?
Tags:
#CareerConfidence #WomenInLeadership #SelfPromotion #MindsetShift #ExecutivePresence #CareerTransition #ImposterSyndrome